I’ve watched thousands of people suffer beyond description—from fear, pain, regret, anger, old wounds, present relationships, loneliness, and much more. They live in worlds that are twisted to the point that happiness isn’t even a possibility. Their inaccurate judgments, pain, and reactive behaviors have filled their world. Pain has become normal to them, so they endure—as Henry David Thoreau once said—lives of “quiet desperation.”
Some of these people want their pain to stop and ask me to help them. On some occasions I feel like a contractor who is asked to remodel an old, neglected house. At some point a house simply isn’t worth remodeling: the foundation is cracked, the walls are crooked, the windows no longer fit their openings, the roof is rotten, and almost nothing can be salvaged.
Human lives are often like these houses. When Cynthia and Mark came to see me, for example, their marriage and their individual lives were a shambles. There wasn’t a ray of sunshine to be found anywhere. The more questions I asked, the worse it got. Finally, I said, “Your lives are completely broken—not repairable or susceptible to productive remodeling of any kind, no matter how extensive. I’m telling you that for a fact. Are you willing to accept that?”
They believed me, so I continued: “The only way you’ll find happiness in this life is to leave behind everything you once thought you knew. Everything. Leave your old planet, along with all the old garbage, and move to a new planet—a planet where you don’t know anything at all, a planet where you can start over.”
“Not many people get a second chance at life,” I said, “but with Real Love we do get that chance. In some ways it’s a bit scary to move to a new place, where we know nothing, but you have an advantage of unspeakable value. You have a guide. You’re not alone. I’ve lived on this new planet for a long time, and I’ve helped a great many other people get their footing here. You’ll find the surroundings unfamiliar, but anytime you get frightened or lost, you can text, email, call, or visit, and I’ll take you by the hand.”
“Do you think we can do this?” Cynthia asked.
“It all depends on a couple of things,” I said. “You’ll succeed if you trust your guides and if you let go of anything having to do with the old planet. You have to let it all go.”
“Even old friends? Family?”
“You’ll have to figure out who you can associate with, but I can tell you that pretty much anybody from your past will tend to drag you back into the old way of living. Eventually, you’ll be strong enough to associate with some of them—like members of your family—but for now moving to a new planet is an all-or-nothing affair. You can’t have one foot on one planet and one foot on the other. It will tear you apart.”
“In the beginning, the old planet is much bigger than the new one. You have a great deal of experience on the old one, not to mention a great many people who live there. Because of its size, the old planet’s gravity is larger than the new one. The patterns and people of the past will attempt to pull you away from your new home, and if you don’t hang on to the hands of people who can help you, you’ll find yourself sucked right off the surface and back to the hellish place where you used to live.”
Many of us have tried with all our might to make our lives work. We really have, and we’re exhausted and without hope. For most of us, starting over is the only possibility of finding happiness.