Letting Go to Grow: Loosening Your Grip is the Key to Real Change

By Greg Baer M.D.

December 15, 2017

Tracy called and expressed her anxiety about her marriage, her parenting, and more, despite making remarkable progress in understanding Real Love and applying it personally in her life.

“You have pretty high expectations of yourself,” I said. “You believe that if you try harder and harder, you’ll do better and better.’

“Well, sure. Why not?”

“Doesn’t always work like that with changes in your heart, kid. Sometimes you have to loosen up your grip on things and just let go a bit.”

“I don’t understand that phrase,” she said.

Many people don’t. If you’re working at changing your life, what does it mean to “let go?” If you’re shoveling gravel, you don’t make progress by letting go of the shovel.

So what can you let go of if you want to grow personally and in relationships?

Let go of the illusion of safety you get from controlling the people and things around you.
Let go of your fear of inconvenience.
Let go of your need for everybody’s approval.
Let go of your fear of disapproval.
Let go of your fear of mistakes.
Let go of your need to be right.
Let go of your need to fight the people who get in your way.
Let go of your need to see continual forward progress.
Let go of your need to avoid hurting people as you learn.

A sailing ship leaps forward when you loose the sails from the mast, booms, and yards that hold them in place when the ship is in harbor. Letting the sails go allows the wind to fill them and propel the ship with enormous power. Sometimes we need to let go in a similar way.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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