How You Can Help Your Child Gain Confidence

Learn what you can do to ELIMINATEā€”not just manageā€”the consequences that follow your child's lack of confidence: inability to make friends, isolation, and more. Really.

Step 1: Watch this video.

Step 2: Click the button below to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.

Do You Have a Child Who Has Very Little Confidence?

In the video above I taught you:

  1. The REAL reason your child lacks confidence (and it's not what you think).
  2. Why you just can't seem to help your child build confidence, no matter what you do.
  3. What you can do to ELIMINATEā€”not just manageā€”the consequences that follow your child's lack of confidence: inability to make friends, isolation, poor school performance, and more. Really.
  4. How you can replace feeling small and unimportant with genuine peace and happiness in your child.

Look for these Signs 

Do you see the following behaviors or conditions in your childā€”the signs of low confidence or self-esteemā€”on a regular basis?  

Fear of making decisions

Sometimes children are paralyzed with a fear of making decisions or by a generalized anxiety that they canā€™t even put their finger on. 

Shy

Do you think of your child as ā€œshy?ā€ Do other people make similar comments out loud?  

Feelings of guilt or worthlessness

You might see feelings of guilt or worthlessnessā€”perhaps said in the common phrase, ā€œI canā€™t do anything right.ā€ 

Mostly spend time by themselves

BUT keep in mind that some children with no confidence vigorously cling to a parent or other adult for constant reassurance. 

Fearful

Do they have little interest in trying new things?

Worry

Do they worry? This is a big one, so Iā€™ll repeat it: Does your child just have a look of worry on his or her face much of the time? There might be words, there might not. 

Procrastinate

Do they put everything off until later?

Social anxiety

Do you see their uneasiness being around other people? Do they avoid gatherings?  

Difficulty with beginning difficult tasks

You might be seeing a child who has difficulty with beginning difficult tasks that HAVE to be done, like homework or chores around the house.  

Seeks your approval

Do they seek your approval for most of their choices, even minor ones?

Feel helpless and weak

Do they feel helpless and weak, often protesting, ā€œI canā€™tā€ when faced with any task that might make them look wrong or foolish? 

Whimper.

Do they whimper a lot?

Alone

Does your child consistently come home from school alone? And rarelyā€”if everā€”does he or she visit with friends in their homes?  

Isolated

Do they live small, limited lives, failing to fully engage in the world around them?

Do you see more than a few of these signs? Then itā€™s very likely you have a child with little confidence or self-esteem. In a hard-to-define way, do they just not seem to feel worthwhile? This is no small matter.  

When children feel small and insignificant, they donā€™t try new things, they tend to isolate themselves, they beat themselves up when they make mistakes, and they donā€™t do well at making friends.

This can all be quite crippling, and it tends to become a lifelong habit that severely interferes with fulfillment in relationships and in their jobs.  

There IS a Solutionā€”How to Help a Child with Little Confidence 

Oh, how you want to be able to help your child, but you just donā€™t know what to do. Iā€™m here to tell you that there IS a solution, and weā€™re not talking about minimizing the problem. Thatā€™s not nearly enough.

Weā€™re talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being. Imagine watching your childā€™s confidenceā€”and happinessā€”steadily grow 

Welcome to the answers you've been hoping for.

For a long time now, youā€™ve been looking for ways to help your child with his or her confidence. I greatly admire what youā€™re doing right now. Youā€™re looking for answers, youā€™re trying to love and help your child, which is way more than most parents do.

And finally, youā€™re in the right place.

Itā€™s like youā€™ve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and nowā€”almost unbelievablyā€”itā€™s here. This is the ship youā€™ve been looking for.

How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children find the confidence required to be happy and to fulfill the gifts they naturally have. 

I know how to help children who lack confidence. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.

Iā€™m not trying to sell you something here that weā€™re GOING to do. You donā€™t have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, Iā€™ll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that youā€™ve never known.

I repeat: Iā€™m not here to tell you ABOUT what Iā€™m offering you. Iā€™m beginning now to GIVE you what you need. Itā€™s my gift to you.

What a relief to know that right now youā€™re exactly where youā€™ve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child. 

And Iā€™m going to help you do that.

Your Child Has Little or No Confidence

and You Want to Do something About It

I know youā€™ve tried to change things: Youā€™ve encouraged your child, youā€™ve praised them and reassured them, youā€™ve worried, maybe even tried counseling. But your child still shrinks from risk and anything unfamiliar. Life is passing them by, and youā€™re frustrated and tired.  

Youā€™ve been looking for something that worksā€”dying to find itā€”and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.

You would not be here unless two things were true: 

  • (1) you have a child who is lacking in confidence or self-esteem, AND
  • (2) you care enough to do something about it. 

If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what Iā€™m going to share with you, predictably I see children lose their fears and find the confidence they need. Their feelings of smallness just disappear, and instead they become fulfilled and happyā€”even after everything else has failed. 

You become happy too.

It is NOT hopeless.

Iā€™m here to help you, and Iā€™ll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the worldā€”and much more.

You are about to change the world around you, and you donā€™t have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. Youā€™ve already proven that with your own experience.

What You Will Learn That You Donā€™t Already Know 

So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you that you donā€™t already know? What am I going to say about your child and their confidence that you havenā€™t already read or heard somewhere?  

This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing itā€”over and over.

To see the answer, letā€™s start with an infant. When an infant criesā€”other than from obvious physical painā€”what does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. Youā€™re pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED. 

Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if youā€™re genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.

But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. Theyā€™re adorable. 

But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . .

and sometimes they become afraid and interact fearfully with the world as little as they canā€”a great definition of lacking self-confidence. They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really donā€™t know what to do. Usually we try to control their behaviorā€”and we might even temporarily succeedā€”but it doesnā€™t last, and we end up with kids who still lack confidence and happiness. 

Weā€™re not so happy either.

Loving Your Children Unconditionally

Let me say this another way:

If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we donā€™t know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.

If we love them unconditionally, weā€™d love them no matter what.

But if loving them becomes more difficult when they are fearful and lacking confidence, our love is conditional.

Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the ā€œloveā€ we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, including some measure of confidence and participation in life.

The Real Effect of Anger and Disappointment

Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. Thatā€™s what unconditional love means.

But we really donā€™t know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.

Deep inside, you know that what Iā€™m saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you donā€™t. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when weā€™re angry at other people, weā€™re all saying, ā€œLook at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.ā€

In anger, weā€™re focused on OURSELVESā€”Me-Me-Meā€”and in that moment other peopleā€”notably our childrenā€”hear only four words, ā€œI donā€™t love you.ā€ When weā€™re angry, weā€™re far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.  

I repeat:

When we are angry at another person, including our child, they hear only, "I don't love you."

I promise you that this is true.

No, we donā€™t MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? ā€œI donā€™t love youā€ is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at youā€”think about it honestlyā€”and itā€™s what our children hear and feel when weā€™re angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.

Itā€™s little wonder that they respond with their own anger.

Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.

But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionallyā€”which means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditionsā€”so how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.

Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We donā€™t know how to love unconditionally because weā€™ve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.

Childhood and Teenage Fears and Lack of Confidence are a

Reaction to Not Being Loved Unconditionally

For emphasis, Iā€™m going to say all this in a slightly different way:


When children or teens behave in fearā€”when they have no confidenceā€”it is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionally. They donā€™t feel loved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger from us.  

This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the worldā€”at the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, anger, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.

THERE is the proofā€”in our addiction to all those behaviorsā€”that overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.

Children and Teenagers Who are Loved Unconditionally

Donā€™t Feel Afraid and Small

They Donā€™t Lack Confidence  

Iā€™ve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT lack confidence.

Instead theyā€™re HAPPYā€”and responsible, and confident, and have all those qualities you wish they had.

With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED to lack confidence. Happy people don't have that problem. Period. Full stop. It could seem like this statement is too broad, too exaggerated. Itā€™s not.  

Why You're Not succeeding in Helping Your Children

with Their Confidence

How many times have you wondered why a child isnā€™t hearing what youā€™re saying? Thereā€™s an answer, and here it is: Because when youā€™re irritated, your child hears only ā€œI donā€™t love you,ā€ and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.

So THAT is what I'll be teaching you: 

How to LOVE your children unconditionally,

which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.

If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you ā€”what youā€™re really sayingā€”because theyā€™re not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the ā€œI donā€™t love youā€ message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anythingā€”like how to be loving and responsible themselves.

And if they have that powerful trifectaā€”they feel loved, and they are loving and responsibleā€”they are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.

Your Children Can Learn to Be Happy

Your children can learn that being happy and confident is a natural result of feeling loved. You can learn the same.  

Take my hand, and weā€™ll talk about what you can doā€”and how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. Youā€™re going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.

If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences youā€™ll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.

Imagine it: 

no more worrying,

no more anxiety, 

no more fussing about decisions or outcomes,

no more withdrawal from other people,

no more having to constantly encourage and reaffirm,

no more shrinking from unfamiliar tasks or social situations,

no more fearful words, 

no more tension in the family.


Itā€™s astonishing to see and to feel.

Our children are not bad. Weā€™re not bad. 

We just have not known how to love and teach them.

Loving and Teaching Eliminates Fear and Feelings of Worthlessness in Children

What weā€™re doing with our kids with their confidence IS NOT WORKING.

Loving and teaching them does.

Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors youā€™re dealing with, not if youā€™re really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.

Youā€™re about to learn how to ELIMINATE the the fearful behaviors in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.  

I make you another promise:

Learning to be a loving, effective parent is EASIER than everything else youā€™ve done as a parent.

Transforming, Not Managing Your Children

Weā€™re really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. Weā€™re not looking to make your children more manageable. Thatā€™s not even close to being enough.

Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. Itā€™s a transformation.

If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, Iā€™M fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacularā€”as we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.

There is not a single thing youā€™ll ever do that will ring through the ages more powerfully than being a loving and effective parent.

You can do this, so let's get started.

Click the button belowā€”itā€™s freeā€”to begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.

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