Keeping Up Appearances

By Greg Baer M.D.

April 6, 2015

On television, I saw a car commercial. These videos have become extravagant events, with perfectly-written scripts, constant action, and the latest computer graphics. A car roared onto the screen, maneuvered adeptly around several thrilling turns amidst gorgeous scenery, and then spun to a stop, where a crowd was waiting to worship the sight.

The elegant voice of the announcer intoned, “Who cares how tight it can turn if it can’t turn heads?”

Really? Yes, the commercial exactly reflected the overall attitude that nearly all of us have toward life and ourselves—because that’s what commercials are designed to appeal to. We have been taught from early childhood to care deeply about what everyone else thinks of us. And that’s how we decide if we’re worthwhile, cool, competent, lovable. So we give our all—we pay with our lives—to look good to these people.

We must keep up appearances, or we are worthless. We believe this with all our minds and hearts. And thus we are chained to this task for a lifetime—a lifetime of emptiness and profound disappointment.

With love, the chains simply fall away, and we are free—free to feel loved, to be happy, to enjoy relationships we never imagined.

Find the love, trust it, remember it, and share it.

Real Love book

Free yourself from the chains of keeping up appearances.


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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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