It's now more than a month before Christmas, but already I've heard a dozen people say, "I have to do my Christmas shopping." Doesn't sound like much of a joy, does it? People don't say they have to eat ice cream, or go on a cruise, or get a massage. I have to strongly implies a sense of obligation, not delight, and we use the phrase a great dealāin association with our relationships, for exampleāwhich is an indictment of why we really live.
If you find yourself burdened with obligations, you might ask yourself if they're really worth carrying. Many things we do are simply not worth the price we pay to do them. But if something is worth doingāloving a partner, serving a friend, looking into the eyes of a childāwe might consider doing it freely and avoiding the deadening belief that we have to.