Denise could not live without the approval of other people, especially men. She tried constantly to please, but her efforts were never quite enough. She felt anxious all the time and began to use medications to control her stress, but that just led to more drug use and a sense of futility. One marriage collapsed, then two. After a long series of relationships, she despaired that anything would ever make her happy.
A friend recommended Real Love, but despite studying and attending conference calls, she was still frustrated. Eventually, she came for an intervention, and while she was here, she felt genuinely loved and happy.
āI have never felt like this in my entire life,ā she said.
Upon returning home, her happiness continued for two weeks, but she missed the close physical presence she had enjoyed while we were together. Instead of calling me, sometimes she went back to what she knew bestāwinning approval, being sexually attractive, and pills.
In pain she called to describe her many recent mistakes, and I said, āThatās all to be expected. Youāre still doing okay.ā
āYouāre saying that itās okay that I feel like crap so much of the time?ā she asked.
āOh, Iām not enjoying your pain, but itās good for you to see that you can make mistakes and still survive. Youāre just going through the inevitable discomfort of withdrawing from your addictions, and if you keep moving forward youāll discover you donāt need them.ā
āSo what can I do when Iām miserable in my withdrawal?ā
āCall me.ā
āBut then Iām addicted to you.ā
āMaybe, a little, but thereās a big difference.ā
āWhat?ā she asked.
āYour other addictions wonāt let go of youālike the drugs. Drugs donāt care about you either. Other people need your pleasing them. I donāt need you to do anything, and I do care about you. Thatās a big difference. Even more important, your other addictions wonāt make you happy or heal you. Love will.ā
In the process of withdrawing from our other addictions, Real Love could appear to become an addiction. But itās not. Real Love makes no demands, and it heals us. Itās a great āaddictionā to have.
Replace your fear and confusion with peace and happiness.
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