The Gift of a Child

By Greg Baer M.D.

October 31, 2014

I received a letter from a mother:

"When I divorced my husband a year ago, it was difficult on my daughter, Megan. As I've learned to apply the principles of Real Love in my interactions with her, she has seen the differences in me, and we're much closer. Now she wants her father to learn about Real Love. So she wrapped up a copy of Real Love and wants to send it to her dad for his birthday. Do you think this is okay, or is she being manipulative? Should I let her send it? She's even made a nice card to go with it. Cute."

Megan is a CHILD. She's giving her own father a gift. She's expressing a hope. Is she having some expectations? Almost certainly. How could a child not have expectations of her father? She's probably even trying to manipulate him a bit–again, exactly what a child would do.

Leave her alone. How he interprets her gift is his choice, but let your daughter express her affection for her father in any way she chooses. If your husband brings it up later, say, "It was her idea alone." Period. Say nothing else, no argument.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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