Rindy called me on Skype, and she did not look happy. The day before I had told her some steps to take in improving her marriage, which was hollow and unfulfilling. “You look like you’re carrying a mountain on your head,” I said.
“That’s how it feels.”
“In order to feel more loved yourself, and to share that with your husband, you will have to climb a mountain, emotionally speaking, but you’re looking at the whole mountain and trying to carry it. You don’t have to do that.”
I have spoken elsewhere about our journey being one step at a time here.
But here I will approach that topic from a different perspective. Most of us face mountainous changes in our lives—there is always higher and happier ground to reach—but the journey is accomplished one step at a time. And it’s not a matter of slogging our way up each step, while enduring the effort.
The day after we had the conversation above, Rindy wrote to me:
“I do have a big mountain to climb, but with a wave of my hand I can eliminate the mountain from my mind and simply look at the one step in front of me. I see stone, flowers, and saplings, and a view that expands as I turn around. I don’t have to feel prodded, or pushed, or forced. I get to enjoy this step. I get to take my time, savor, enjoy. Very unlike the past. With each step I'm changing an entire life time, and I have the support of people who love me. And now I take the next step and watch the results of each step with wonder, as I enjoy every rock and flower I encounter.”
We can’t effectively take the next step until we enjoy—and learn from—the step we’re on now. No matter how difficult the step you’re on now, you can learn from it and be grateful for the experience. When you have achieved that condition, take the next step. Then enjoy, learn, and step again.