Is Real Love a Cult?

By Greg Baer M.D.

March 25, 2018

As you begin to live the principles of Real Love, you WILL become happier. It’s an inevitable result of learning to feel loved, and of being loving and responsible.

The world around you, however, is fueled by conditional approval, which involves the trading of Imitation Love and the use of all the Getting and Protecting Behaviors. It’s a nightmare, but because nearly everyone lives that way, all those unloving behaviors are accepted as normal.

Why We Feel Threatened by New Ideas

From the beginning of time, human beings on the whole have been herd animals. We gather together in families, clans, villages, cities, cultures, and so on.

We get a sense of safety and familiarity from being surrounded by people who believe like we do, look like us, and behave like we do.

If someone in the group behaves differently, in fact, we find that threatening.

Most innovators throughout history have been labeled as odd or even unacceptable, especially in the beginning of their deviation from the norm. 

Many have been persecuted, nearly all of them have been misunderstood, and some have been ostracized completely or killed.

Why do we feel so threatened by people who propose new ways of thinking or living?

Because their very existence suggests the possibility that we might be WRONG. Maybe there is something we should be doing differently.

When we hear something new, there are only two ways to go:

  • Buckle down and choose to learn the new way of thinking or living. OR
  • Discredit, ignore, persecute, or otherwise dismiss the person teaching or living the new principle.

In short, we have to either accept and change OR discredit or dismiss.

We tend to make the second choice, because it’s easier, it’s more familiar, and we don’t have to risk the disapproval of others.

If we make the first choice, it might be more difficult, it will be unfamiliar, it might be frightening, and we might even lose the approval and association of those we have considered to be friends or family.

As you live according to the principles of unconditional love, without doubt you are making the first choice above, and many people will feel threatened, for the reason previously stated.

Most will then make the second choice, so they will tend to discredit you in some way, as well as discrediting Real Love.

Characteristics of a Cult 

A cheap and easy way to dismiss your credibility is to state that you have joined a cult.

With this claim, they incite fear in the hearts of everyone who hears it, and they tend to put you on the defensive, where you have to prove a negative, which is difficult and usually futile. 

Frightened people like to make everybody else do the work to make them feel safe.

Despite the silliness of the claim, and the unkindness toward you, the claim might cause doubts in your own mind.

For the benefit of your own peace of mind, and occasionally to calm other people who are frightened by the word “cult,” let’s look at the characteristics of cults—as defined by experts in the field—and see how Real Love stacks up.

As you read these characteristics, you might notice that the one organization that fits the characteristics of cults is the family, with the parents as cult leaders.

Characteristics of a cult    

    Qualities of Real Love

The cult is controlled by a leader who is regarded as the supreme authority.

The key characteristic of any cult is control. Real Love has no interest in controlling anybody. We love and teach people, and they make their own choices about their lives.

The cult leader tends to be domineering.

There is no “leader.” The material is written and filmed by Greg Baer, and the only thing he dominates is what he writes.

There is no appeal outside the cult leader to higher systems of justice.

Real Love isn’t even an organized group, certainly not one that administers justice.

Allegiance to the cult takes priority over all other allegiances.

Nobody is ever asked to be loyal to Real Love, which is just a set of principles, and possibly a widespread community linked by love

A cult controls the possessions, money, and lives of its followers.

The Real Love Company is a non-profit organization, making no money and asking for none from anyone, except for goods and services.

Cult leaders are self-appointed, and they cannot be removed.

There are no leaders in Real Love, only those who lead by the examples of love and the truth.

Cult leaders focus the love, devotion, and allegiance of the followers on themselves.

Some people follow the principles of unconditional love. Most do not. Everyone chooses freely

Cults often dictate in great detail what members wear, eat, when and where they work, sleep, and bathe, as well as what to believe, think, and say.     

Real Love dictates to no one what they do

The cult tends to have a double set of ethics. Members are urged to be open and honest within the group, and to         confess all to the leaders. But the leaders have a different set of standards and are not open and honest about their own mistakes.

Those who love and teach are encouraged to be truthful about themselves, to be an example to others.     

Members of the cult derive a great part of their identity from simply being members of that cult.

No allegiance to Real Love is required, so people can follow principles, but their sense of identity is determined by them.

If a member leaves a cult, they are shunned, shamed, and punished

Doesn’t apply in any way. Anyone can quit studying Real Love whenever they want.

If member disobeys cult leader, it is equated with disobeying God.

There is no leader.

Members are often forced to keep rules that are unimportant or make no sense.

There is no controlling in Real Love.

Real Love is a set of principles. 

People lead only as they love and teach, but they control no one.

Real Love qualifies in no way as a cult.

The Mission of the Real Love Company is:

We teach the real meaning of love, replacing anger and confusion with peace and confidence in individual lives and relationships.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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