On a great many occasions—in blogs, on video chats, and throughout an entire book—I have talked about how the lack of unconditional love in childhood causes pain and fear that can influence or even determine feelings and behavior for the rest of our lives.
I had a conversation with an older teenager, Miranda, who expressed depression, confusion, and an overall lack of worth and motivation. Without any probing from me, she said, “I remember when I was three, I was with my mother at a social event, but I got separated from her. I tugged on the skirt of one of several women in a group, and called her ‘Mommy.’ When the women all laughed, I asked if they knew where my mommy was. They laughed again, and I remember thinking, I’ll never ask another question again. I don’t like being laughed at and humiliated.”
This young lady had been affected for fifteen years by a single incident where trusted adults laughed at her. A single negative moment had a poisonous effect on a lifetime. Most of us have had hundreds—or even thousands—of negative emotional experiences in childhood, but rarely do we remember the specifics of them, as in the one incident described by Miranda.
It’s little wonder that sometimes we struggle with our feelings and choices.
Recover from the lack of unconditional love in your childhood
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