By Greg Baer M.D.

August 24, 2015

It’s very common for people to speak of the need for balance in our lives. We should have careers but not be too focused on them, have standards but not be too rigid, pursue relaxation but not too much, be spiritual but not religiously fanatic, and so on.

I suggest that happiness is to be found less in balance than in understanding what really matters and how to properly define the choices available to us.

For example:

Be aware of your mistakes but not afraid. This is not a balance. Awareness and fear are entirely different.
Be diligent in your pursuit of what is right but not obsessive.
Always be moving forward, but don't arrogantly push others aside.
Listen thoroughly, but don’t alter your beliefs to please others.
Always be grateful but never satisfied with what you have.
Describe high standards to guide growth, but don’t demand that other people attain them.
Tell the truth about yourself, but don’t be dramatic and self-serving.
Be humble but not self-condemning.
Cling to those who offer love, but don't manipulate them in any way for what they offer freely.

It’s not balance we need. What we need is to properly understand what efforts and qualities will make us happy, and to pursue them with all our hearts and minds—not with balance.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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