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Remember WHY you came here.
Right now, dig in to HOW you can help your child.
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In the video above I taught you:
Do you have a child whose anger might be damaging his life? And yours?
Do you know the signs of dangerous anger and entitlement in a child or teenager?
Look for the following behaviors or conditions in your child. Ask yourself if you see them on a persistent and chronic basis:
Do you see a burning resentment in your child that seems to consume all the innocence and joy you once saw long ago?
Do you get blasted with angry and defiant answers to your requests for the simplest things?
Do they argue and fight with you when you refuse their demands?
Are they always blaming somebody else for their anger?
Are teachers at school having more and more trouble with your child or teenager?
Do they have trouble falling asleep, or staying asleep? Or do they sleep all day?
Do you hear common expressions of detachment? Like āI donāt careā?
Do most things just ānot matterā to them anymore? Have they quit caring?
Do you hear a lot of complaining about every little thing?
Do you see a sense of entitlement for anything he or she wants, and a furious resentment if you donāt give them whatever they demand?
Have you gotten to the point where you just want to avoid having conversations with this āimpossible child?ā
Do they over-react to the smallest inconveniences when things donāt go their way?
Is the idea of disciplining your child a nightmare?
Do they refuse to take responsibility for their own mistakes and lack of preparation?
Have they just lost interest in the activities they used to enjoy?
Does their face often radiate a sense of persistent emotional pain? You might call it futility or rage.
Are they disconnecting from the family, friends, and other people?
In a younger child, has the whining becoming almost constant?
If you see any of these signsāor a lot of themāthis can be pretty scary. Angry children and angry teens are a cause for real concern. Theyāre difficult to be around and hard to reach.
Theyāre creating patterns that will destroy their happiness and relationships, often for life. Itās like your once-sweet child is disappearing into a fiery and lonely world.
Youāre worried. What would you give to have a happy child back? What would you give to find a solution for childhood anger and defiance? How badly would you like to do something about that sense of entitlement that has changed the soul of your child?
Do you have a child who is angry, or defiant, or entitled, or complaining, or whining, or argumentative, or resistant, or rebelliousāor all of that? Would you not give almost anything to stop it? To change your relationship with that child completely? Are you not tired of how things are now?
There IS a solution, and weāre not talking about controlling or minimizing these behaviors.
Weāre talking about a real transformation where your child becomes truly happy, fulfilled, responsible, and, well, a human being again. In most cases, what you get is a child much happier than they were before they began to be angry.
For a long time now, youāve been looking for ways to help your child. I greatly admire what youāre doing right now. Youāre looking for answers, youāre trying to love and help your child, which is way more than most parents do. And finally, youāre in the right place.
Itās like youāve been paddling around in the middle of the ocean, desperately looking for help, and nowāalmost unbelievablyāitās here. This is the ship youāve been looking for.
How could I possibly make such an extravagant promise? Because I KNOW how to teach parents how to help their children who are angry, defiant, and entitledāall of which are VERY COMMON. What I teach has been used by uncounted THOUSANDS of parents, and it works CONSISTENTLY.
Iām not trying to sell you something here that weāre GOING to do. You donāt have to wait. The training begins right now. In the next few seconds, Iāll be teaching you things about your children and yourselves that youāve never known.
I repeat: Iām not here to tell you ABOUT what Iām offering you. Iām beginning now to GIVE you what you need. Itās my gift to you.
What a relief to know that right now youāre exactly where youāve wanted to be. You can learn what you need to learn. Finally, you can feel encouraged. You can feel hope. You can help your child.
And Iām going to help you do that.
I know youāve tried to change things: yelling, controlling, nagging, books, programs, yelling, controlling.Maybe medications. But your child is still angry and miserable.
And youāre frustrated and tired.
Youāve been looking for something that works, and here it is: principles that have proven to work hundreds of thousands of times all over the world.
If parents are thoroughly committed to learning and practicing what Iām going to share with you, predictably I see children just stop being angry. The frustrating behaviors just go away, and instead children become happy and cooperativeāeven after everything else has failed.
You become happy too.
It is NOT hopeless.
Iām here to help you, and Iāll be using the insight and experience of counseling with thousands of parents, and from writing 20 books and endless articles on the subject, as well as appearing on 1600 radio and television shows and presenting seminars all around the worldāand much more.
You are about to change the world around you, and you donāt have to do it alone, which is miserable and frustrating. Youāve already proven that with your own experience.
So now the question that has to be on your mind: what am I going to teach you that you donāt already know?
What am I going to say about anger that you havenāt already read or heard somewhere?
This is going to be revolutionary for you to hear, so slow down your brain and listen with your soul: What does a child NEED more than anything else? After food, water, and air, the answer is SO obvious, and yet we keep missing itāover and over.
To see the answer, letās start with an infant. When an infant criesāother than from obvious physical paināwhat does he want? You already know, because you just pick him up. Youāre pretty smart. You already know that every child wants to feel cared for. Every child wants to feel LOVED.
Picking them up and holding them is just a demonstration of that. And if youāre genuine in caring about them, they FEEL it.
But infants are relatively easy to love. They smile and melt your heart, make cute little noises, and laugh in ways we never hear anywhere else. Theyāre adorable.
But when they get older, they learn to spill things, make messes, ferociously say NO when you tell them what to do, scream in their car seat, fight with their siblings, refuse to listen to you, say ugly and hateful things to you and other people . . . and their anger and entitlement keep building like a storm.
They get a LOT harder to love, and when that happens, we really donāt know what to do. Usually we try to control their behaviorāand we might even temporarily succeedābut it doesnāt last, and we end up with unhappy and badly behaved kids.
Weāre not so happy either.
Let me say this another way:
If our children become more difficult to love as their behavior changes, that proves we donāt know how to love them UNCONDITIONALLY.
If we love them unconditionally, weād love them no matter what.
But if loving them becomes more difficult when theyāre difficult when they behave badly, our love is conditional.
Unconditional love or Real Love means caring about another person without wanting anything from then in return, but we DO expect something in return for the āloveā we give our children: respect, cooperation, gratitude, and a certain level of reasonable and relatively easy behavior, which does not include anger.
Now more about unconditional love: That kind of love would mean that our love would not be affected by what they do. Thatās what unconditional love means.
But we really donāt know how to do that. How do I know? We PROVE it every time we become angry, or disappointed, or impatient, or irritated at them. Our anger and disappointment and frustration are undeniable PROOF that our love is not unconditional.
Deep inside, you know that what Iām saying is true, but let me demonstrate further: When other people are angry at YOU, do YOU like it? NO, you donāt. Not ever. Nobody does. When other people are angry at us, or when weāre angry at other people, weāre all saying, āLook at what you did to ME, or failed to do FOR ME.ā
In anger, weāre focused on OURSELVESāMe-Me-Meāand in that moment other peopleānotably our childrenāhear only four words, āI donāt love you.ā When weāre angry, weāre far too occupied with ourselves to unconditionally love another person.
I repeat:
I promise you that this is true.
No, we donāt MEAN to say that, but what else COULD people hear while our words, tone, and behavior are screaming ME-ME-ME? āI donāt love youā is what YOU hear and FEEL when people are angry at youāthink about it honestlyāand itās what our children hear and feel when weāre angry at them. And then we have an anxious child or anxious teenager.
Itās little wonder that they respond with their own anger.
Again, we do NOT mean to do this. We do not mean to hurt our children.
But it was inevitable, because WE were not loved unconditionallyāwhich means being consistently loved without disappointment or anger. We were not loved freely, without conditionsāso how could we possibly have learned how to unconditionally love our own children? IMPOSSIBLE.
Nobody is to blame. Our ignorance of Real Love simply perpetuated over generations. We donāt know how to love unconditionally because weāve never seen it or felt it with any consistency.
For emphasis, Iām going to say all this in a slightly different way:
When children are angry and entitled, it is almost always a reaction to them not feeling loved unconditionallyāloved with no disappointment, irritation, frustration, or anger.
This could sound discouraging, even bleak. In some ways it IS bleak. Look at the worldāat the utter obsession with things that are distractions from our pain, from our not feeling loved: like endless entertainment, addiction to electronics, ANGER, controlling people, drugs, alcohol, sex, and on and on.
THERE is the proofāin our addiction to all those behaviorsāthat overall we do not know how to love people unconditionally. If we did, and I speak here with vast experience, these behaviors would not exist.
Iāve been teaching unconditional love now for so many years to so many parents that I can tell you this with complete certainty: When a child truly feels loved unconditionally, he or she DOES NOT become angry, defiant, and difficult.
Instead theyāre HAPPYāand responsible, and have all those qualities you wish they had.
With sufficient love, there is simply no NEED to behave badly. Happy people donāt behave badlyālike being angry, for example. Period. Full stop. It seems almost like this statement is too broad, too much. Itās not.
How many times have you wondered why a child isnāt hearing what youāre saying? Thereās an answer, and here it is: Because when youāre irritated, your child hears only āI donāt love you,ā and that is so devastating, that he or she hears none of the rest of the content of what you say.
So THAT is what I'll be teaching you:
How to LOVE your children unconditionally,
which then gives them a REASON to LISTEN to you.
If you love them unconditionally, they can HEAR you āwhat youāre really sayingābecause theyāre not distracted by their fear, not blinded and deafened by the āI donāt love youā message. Then it becomes possible for you to teach them anythingālike how to be loving and responsible themselves.
And if they have that powerful trifectaāthey feel loved, and they are loving and responsibleāthey are guaranteed to be happy, which is the ultimate goal for any parent, or, frankly, any person.
Your children can learn that being happyāwhich includes being loving and responsibleāfeels way better than feeling angry, resentful, and entitled. And they will consistently choose happiness.
Take my hand, and weāll talk about what you can doāand how I will support you. It will almost be like starting over in parenting. Youāre going to LEARN how to be a real parent, and your child will learn the lessons of life that will benefit him or her for the rest of their lives.
If you implement what you learn here, and if you do it consistently, you simply will not believe the differences youāll see in your child, and in you, and in your family.
Imagine it:
no more angerānone,
no more ugly words,
no more tension in the family,
no more demands and entitlement.
Itās astonishing to see and to feel.
Our children are not bad. Weāre not bad.
We just have not known how to love and teach them.
Rarely is it too late to change whatever unproductive behaviors youāre dealing with, not if youāre really willing to learn and to apply these principles to the interactions with your child. I can promise you, learning how to be a parent is WORTH IT.
Youāre about to learn how to ELIMINATE the anger and entitlement and other behaviors in your children that are hurting them and making you crazy. Really.
I make you another promise:
Weāre really going to get into this. This is not a casual effort. Weāre not looking to make your children more manageable. Thatās not even close to being enough.
Our mission is to help you to become a powerful and effective parent, and to help your child feel loved, and to be loving, responsible, and genuinely happy. Itās a transformation.
If you ARE truly committed to learning how to parent, IāM fully committed to teach you, and I will bring resources to the table you never thought about. The rewards are spectacularāas we have seen in uncounted thousands of families.
Click the button belowāitās freeāto begin transforming your life as a Ridiculously Effective Parent.