After twenty years I have concluded that the single most DIFFICULT Real Love principle for people to hear is this: “Anger is always unloving and wrong, and if I want to be truly happy, I have to eliminate anger from my life.”
I have also learned that the single most EFFECTIVE principle for people to implement in their lives and relationships is this: “Anger is always unloving and wrong, and if I want to be truly happy, I have to eliminate anger from my life.”
Anger might be the single most negative and destructive force on earth, and yet it is so common that it has come to be accepted as normal—little more than a faint but constant background noise. Once something terrible becomes accepted, however, its power exponentially magnifies—unchecked and unnoticed.
Oh sure, we tend to notice when someone erupts into a homicidal rage, but we ignore the innumerable steps that precede such obvious displays. And in our ignorance we allow the force of anger to grow, like a vine that starts with a single leaf but eventually chokes an entire city or forest.
No amount of anger is safe. In order to make this point in a memorable way, suppose that you were severely allergic to peanuts, to the point that even touching a peanut to your lips would be uniformly fatal—a condition that does exist in some people. In light of this allergy, which of the following would be worse for you?
Eating one peanut
Eating a handful of peanuts
Taking a bite from a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Even though the choices have quantitative and qualitative differences, they're all effectively the same, aren't they? Of course, because they all produce the same result: death.
So do all the forms of anger. In all its manifestations, anger is deadly. In its most severe demonstrations, the destruction can be immediate, but in its “lesser” incarnations anger is still a slow, insidious cancer that grows until it takes over everything.
All levels of anger absolutely rule out any possibility of being unconditionally loving and therefore destroy any possibility of being genuinely happy, which is our highest purpose in life. For the sole reason that anger excludes happiness, it is wrong and should be avoided at all cost.
Don’t play with anger. Don’t eat the peanuts—not one peanut, not a handful, no peanut butter. None. The risk is just too great.
Learn more about eliminating your anger!