"Good questions outrank easy answers." (Paul A. Samuelson)
"It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers." (James Thurber)
It often matters very much that we ask the right questions. After all, as Ursula Le Guin said, "There are no right answers to the wrong questions."
So what are some practical examples of asking the right and wrong questions?
Wrong question: Why does my daughter keep behaving like that? (with irritation)
Right question: What does my daughter’s behavior indicate about what I have taught her about herself and life? And now what can I do about it?
Wrong question: Why are people so difficult and selfish?
Right question: What can I do to see my own selfishness and victimhood more consistently, so I don’t find it difficult to interact with people?
Wrong question: Why is my boss so controlling and irritable?
Right question: How could I offer to be more helpful to my boss, to lighten the load he obviously carries?
Once you ask the right questions, the answers are much easier to find.