October 5, 2015

Personal Growth

There is a certain degree of uncertainty in almost everything we do—unknown and uncontrollable variables abound in even the simplest circumstances—but the real problem with this condition is that we’ve come to equate uncertainty with FEAR. Why? Because for most of our lives it’s the unknown that has come out of the closet—or from under our beds—to hurt us. Moreover, we’ve been ridiculed—in school and elsewhere—for our uncertainty, for what we don’t know. So, uncertainty became associated with pain and fear, which rob us of our happiness.

When we feel unconditionally loved, however, we can begin to respond to uncertainty in an entirely different way. How is this possible?

When we feel loved, we have the greatest certainty of all. We know we are worthwhile. We KNOW WHO WE ARE, and with that paramount knowledge, other uncertainties fade into relative insignificance. With Real Love, we attain a kind of invincibility.

With Real Love, uncertainty becomes only information. It means we don’t know for sure what will happen, but we DON’T CARE—or at least we don’t care enough to lose our peace of mind.

When we feel loved, if we’re uncertain about a solution, but we’re pretty sure there IS one, then we just move forward. We take a risk and make a choice. If we’re wrong, so what? Despite our error, we still retain the ultimate certainties—of our worth and who we are—which frees us simply to learn from the mistake and keep making choices, to keep moving forward.

What if we wrestle with the truly unknowable, where we don’t anticipate a solution or clear answer? We might move forward, or we might simply leave that particular matter alone. For example:

I’ve been single for a long time. Will I ever find a loving partner?
Will my life be free of tragedy?
Will my children be happy?
Will I live to an old age?

These questions have no certain answer, so why worry about them? But even with these uncertainties, I still know I’m worthwhile. I know who I am. I know that I am loved and that I can love others. In that condition, uncertainties like these cause no fear.

When in doubt, we need to remember what we know for certain, and make decisions from that position of knowledge and strength, without fear of what we do not know.

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