Greg’s Top Ten “Buts”

By Greg Baer M.D.

June 9, 2014

10. “I know I shouldn’t say this, BUT . . .”

Truth: “I LOVE to talk about people—makes me feel powerful—but first I’ll create at least some appearance of having a sense of morality.”

9. “That’s a good idea, BUT . . .”

Truth: “You are such a moron. Compared to my idea, yours is stupid, but I’ll go through the motions of being polite for a moment before I demonstrate my superiority.”

8. “He’s a nice person, BUT . . .”

Truth: “He is such an idiot, but I suppose he’s not completely worthless. He shuts up while I’m talking, for example, so he couldn’t be all bad.”

7. “I’m not being critical, BUT . . .”

Truth: “I am SO critical. All I ever do is criticize, but I prefer to believe that I’m just telling people how to do everything the right way—my way, coincidentally.”

6. “I hear what you’re saying, BUT . . .”

Truth: “You’re kidding, right? Your words are entering my ears, but my brain can’t believe you could be this stupid. Now listen closely while I tell you the RIGHT way to believe.”

5. “I know, BUT . . .”

Truth: “I know my life isn’t working. I know I’m not happy. I know I’ve never had a stable relationship, BUT let me tell you—for the hundredth time—WHY I keep living this insanity. Let me try to convince you how right I am, how it’s not my fault, and how it could never possibly change.”

4. “I really should do that, BUT . . .”

Truth: “I know that my way isn’t working, BUT I’m just too stuck, too afraid, and too lazy to change it. But listen to my brilliant excuses anyway.”

3. “BUT you don’t understand . . .”

Truth: “What I’m doing makes no sense and is unlikely to work—it hasn’t before now—but I have great justifications for it, and you’re not making sense out of the nonsense I’m telling you.”

2. “Yes, but . . .”

Truth: “I’ve been pretending to listen to what you just said, BUT it’s a lie. I was just being polite, waiting for a chance to tell you MY opinion.”

1. “BUT . . .”

Truth: “I don’t really care what is right or loving or good. I’m going to live life MY WAY. And then when things turn out badly, it will all be somebody else’s fault.”

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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