Love for the Asking–Finding Real Love

By Greg Baer M.D.

February 2, 2015

One of the many reasons I enjoy spending time with my grandchildren is their complete lack of inhibition around asking for what they want.

Last Christmas, for example, one of them, Megan, was attached to my hip almost the entire time she was at our home. Whenever she wanted me to sit with her, or hold her, or go on a walk, or play, she didn't drops hints. She didn't agonize over whether it was the right time. She just ran across the room and jumped up into my lap, expecting that I couldn't possibly have anything in the world more important to do than be with her. 

My grandson Jack expresses his desires with similar freedom. Taking me by the hand and pulling me behind him, he says, "Come me now."

Regrettably, my experience with adults is quite different. They weigh the pros and cons of asking for what they want, they consider the past consequences of making requests, and they think about what they can do to manipulate people to get what they want. In short, adults are mostly cautious—afraid, really—about asking for their needs to be met.

Often we don't even know what we truly want, so we don't know how to ask for it. We don't remember—or, more likely, we never knew—that it is love that gives us the greatest happiness, so instead we pursue the temporary satisfactions of money, power, approval, sex, and more.

Finding what we really need is not complicated. First we must learn what it is. It's always about love, Real Love. And then, like Megan, we only need to ask. We need to summon the faith that if we share who we really are with a few select friends or family members—if we climb into their laps, so to speak—we'll find and feel the genuine acceptance and emotional warmth that brings us joy.

My goal is to be like Megan and Jack. Children have all the fun.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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