The other day I was preparing to begin the RealLove.com weekly video chat when one member reported that he wasn’t receiving the video feed. He said he had tried all manner of manipulations to no avail, so I suggested that he hit the Refresh button on his browser, and if that didn’t work, he might reboot his computer. Then I added, “In my experience, those two actions — Refresh and reboot — will solve more than half of the problems you encounter on the Internet.”
Similar advice could be given for solving problems in our personal growth and in our relationships. Let’s look at the similarities between computers and human beings.
When you click the Refresh button on your browser, it updates whatever Internet page you’re viewing with any additional information that’s been added to that page since you last viewed it. It gives you the latest version of the page, and it also restarts any web-based programs that were on that page, like a video feed. Hitting Refresh simply allows us to move forward with the best available information.
Similarly, when we have difficulty with personal problems in our lives, it is precisely at those times that we require additional insight and knowledge to solve those problems. We need to hit our Refresh button, which would mean obtaining all the wisdom, knowledge, and love we can find from those around us. Without these additional resources, it is rarely possible for us to do anything but repeat our past mistakes.
Rebooting a computer is a matter of shutting everything down — programs, the Internet, operating systems, everything — and starting over. In the process, the memory cache is cleared, and all applications and processes are forced to reload, usually eliminating any conflicts that may have been caused by programs competing for processing power and memory.
We have opportunities every day to reboot our thoughts and feelings. After refreshing ourselves with the best available insights, knowledge, and love, we can literally reframe the way we see the world. We can clear out our stores of useless perspectives and fears and begin again with the new resources and attitudes we have acquired. Whenever we choose, we really can leave the past behind and enjoy the exhilaration of a new life.
So the next time you experience fear or anger or frustration, you might consider refreshing and rebooting. That course is far more effective than persisting in old thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
