Love and the Price of the Perfect Diamond

By Greg Baer M.D.

December 21, 2008


There was once a man whose life's ambition was to find the largest perfect diamond in the world. He spent decades in pursuit of his goal, not only looking for the diamond but also amassing a fortune large enough so that he could afford to buy it when he found it. Finally, his agents found a diamond that seemed to be the answer to his search. It was larger than any other diamond previously classified as flawless, and it appeared to be perfect, but no one could be certain, because it was a rough diamond. In other words, it has not yet been cut, so it couldn't be thoroughly examined for flaws on the inside. And the owner was selling the diamond in its rough, uncut state.

The man agonized over the purchase of the diamond, eager to realize his dream but also concerned that perhaps the diamond might turn out to have flaws after it was cut. It was a difficult decision because he would have to sell everything he had in order to make the purchase. In the end, he decided not to buy the diamond, because he wasn't willing to make the sacrifice and assume the risk.

After he passed up the purchase, someone else bought the diamond. When it was cut, the diamond was found to be the largest perfect diamond ever discovered, and the owner sold it and the pieces cut from it for a greater profit than he could have imagined.

Real Love is a perfect diamond, and in order to enjoy it, we must be willing to give up all of our unrelated possessions--our pride, our anger, our blaming, our defensiveness, and our addictive attachments to praise, power, pleasure, and safety. Giving up what we have—what has made us intermittently comfortable for a lifetime—to achieve something we're not entirely certain of is the very definition of faith, but without this faith, and without the sacrifices that always attend faith, we can never find the Real Love we require to be happy in this life.

We all want to feel unconditionally loved. We all do. And we want the joy that comes with being unconditionally loving toward others. The question is, what are we willing to pay to possess this diamond? Are we willing to give up all that we have? Are we willing to give up the blaming and instead tell the truth about ourselves? Are we willing to give up our selfish wounds and demands, and instead see the needs of others? Are we willing to trade our anger for joy?

When we're willing to do this, our actions will tell the truth about our intentions, and the diamond will be ours.

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About the author 

Greg Baer, M.D.

I am the founder of The Real Love® Company, Inc, a non-profit organization. Following the sale of my successful ophthalmology practice I have dedicated the past 25 years to teaching people a remarkable process that replaces all of life's "crazy" with peace, confidence and meaning in various aspects of their personal lives, including parenting, marriages, the workplace and more.

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